MadVerse Prompt: last best & only /(chance/hope/deal)

Foolishly, I went all in
and these, these will be
the only cards you deal to me,
a last chance to redeem myself,
my best hope: a sullen Jack
or smiling Queen
and me, the tear-stained Joker
who should never
have sat down.

WyldeVerse Prompt: raw freedom

freedom forced upon her
as upon a newborn
ejected from the womb
and she screamed
in the open air
the winds raw upon her
exposed skin

MadVerse Prompt: delusion / hallucination / figment

my hallucination
as dusty lips
parched for meaning
kiss the empty air
a figment of aspiration
the delusion of passion
evaporates your ghost
with the summer sun
and desiccates me

lament

always an almost
never quite right
ever a maybe
i give up the fight
embrace the alone
whilst rejecting the lonely
accepting the now
forgetting "if only"
take up new hobbies
let go the past
comfort myself, some things
aren't meant to last



Now with music! On YouTube.

MadVerse Prompt: insubstantial / ephemeral / ethereal

their time ephemeral ended
his insubstantial heart had wavered
so her spirit now untethered
floats ethereal to dissipate
like smoke through thoughts

days end

MadVerse Prompt: verdigris / patina / glaze / surface

the saltwater waterfalls fall
on surface shimmering
glaze from copper eyes
someday will dry
and leave behind
the verdigris patina
oxidized, grown wise 
painting perception
evermore in hues
of greens and blues

the bigots' battle cry

it makes me sick to think on
all the things that have gone wrong
the world is full of assholes
singing the same song
"it wasn't me, it's not our fault"
and then they lay the blame
on the doorstep of the innocents
and loudly they declaim
"live in fear and hate that guy
for things he didn't do,
but someone did who looked like him
and next he'll come for you"
they blame color, race, religion
forget our shared humanity
unless the terror looks like them
then blame insanity
they focus on the symptoms
and ignore the deeper cause
a lack of empathy
will never give them pause
and yet the only recourse
against the intolerant
is more kindness and compassion
just as oberdurate
steadfast in your goodness be
believe in better days
created by the thoughtful
in a million tiny ways
be the change you want to see
put hatred on the shelf
choose to act from love not fear
be your better self

love's stagehand

clear the debris
reset the stage
and if I'm lucky
before I go
receive a kind nod
as I disappear
into the dark
dressed in black
invisible
to watch
from the wings
quiet
as the play
goes on
without me

MadVerse: raw / refined / resonant / resilient

I clothe myself,
refined
in velvet memory
and find
it still fits.
a chocolate dress -
a raw teen's dream
of bohemian couture
and in it, resonant,
my younger self:
resilient and rebellious.
she is good
to wear again.

MadVerse Prompt: complicated / compulsive / complex

Impulsively I climbed
into this puzzlebox/
compulsively tried to suss
our complicated, convoluted
complexities/
broke something
and now am stuck,
like a bad mime,
in a prison
no one else can see

square one

pack up the past
and put it away
to the back of storage
for a far off day
it wasn't quite useless
but it won't help you now
so let go the ache
unfurrow your brow
remove all the pictures
from off of your phone
delete all the texts
leave memory alone
keep busy, keep moving
until you forget
let go of the hope
that he'll someday regret
back to square one
clean off the slate
a new day begins
it's never too late

Reversed

And if you were me
How would you be
Would you believe you
Or would you review
Everything to see
That you weren't crazy
See if any was true
Before it was through
If you knew what you knew

Yes, that's what I'd do too

MadVerse Prompt:splintered night / smoldering remains

supernova

splintering the night

with a kiss

and I burn

and melt

in your fire

until all that's left

of me;

smoldering remains

instapoem: the rush

repeats

the irony writ large
on miniature pages.
you became her
and made of me, you.
the tale a circle;
ever the same,
ever anew.

again

there is nothing clever
or funny to say -
another shooter, more deaths...
just another day

MadVerse Prompt:north winds

a chill wind
blows through her
freezes her grieving heart
leaving her locked
in the ice of a sea
of frozen tears
until the spring thaw

MadVerse Prompt: origami flesh

fold into myself
confounding contortions
w/ origami flesh
to hide me
in creases
& show the world
a new form

instapoem: both

micropoetry: sunset

sky on fire
in vermilion hue
burns away the day's blue
and silhouetted against is you
beauty's magnifier

instapoem: the willow

better

when i said
it would be better
had we
never met
you replied, no
not ever
not a day
do you regret

i do not think
you understood
it is for me
it would be good

Liar

You pride yourself on honesty 

You swear you never lied

Every kiss you kissed was false

Except that kiss goodbye 

News

I still can't understand 

Can't find the disconnect 

Between us having something wondrous 

To something to be left

I have the early data

You sent me video

To show me that I made your smile 

As big as it could go

Then you became cagey

For your once beloved KG

And now my smile's disappeared 

You took it with you maybe

You want us to be friends 

And tell me that you're sorry

That you never were in love

But that I shouldn't worry 

Because I am so lovely 

You're certain that I'll find 

A newer love without you

And think you're being kind

But I am not so blind

You already have moved on

And left me far behind 

true friend

scrabbling for purchase
screaming through the darkness
velocity gaining
insanity reigning
a voice answers my calls
and cushions my fall
and I land
bruised
but unbroken

instapoem: mad sq

privations

display of affliction
may lose me affection
but neither does deflection
reverse defection
better public introspection
than silent desperation
lacking the elation
of previous devotion 
I settle in determination 
for poetic creation

instapoem: life vest

instapoem: windowbox thoughts

despair and hope

look at the world
try not to despair
in brighter days
we place our hope
we search for love
any which where
in stranger's smiles
try to cope
in our rage and revulsion
at acts of destruction
remember that hate
like weevils breed
and evils bleed
across borders
and colors and faiths
not resigned
but resolved
a better way
than blinded eyes
until no one left
can see
the brighter days
we hope may be

empty nest

i misconstrue
light for warmth
dazzled by the brightness
sometime blinded
by the glare
like a jackdaw
collecting shinies
building a nest
of trash and trinkets

instapoem: angel wings

instapoem: gift for an insomniac

instapoem: adrift

instapoem: the baptism

another fall

leaves crackle underfoot
like pretty lies
dry and brittle
beautiful and broken
but they make a lovely sound
as they are stomped into oblivion

instapoem: the puzzle

instapoem: the path

instapoem: the stoic's love poem

the birthday approach

the year begins to turn
with an ominous tick, tick, tick
my biological clock
flips a number
like a vintage alarm
about to go off
i feel like i feel
no older
except...
the weight of years
rests about me
a mantle of memory
which slows my step
but keeps me warm
and I don't know
which is more worthwhile

instapoem: the fall

Asylum

the tears come oft unbidden
since we said goodbye
I wish my heart was hidden
I wish I didn't cry
I wish I my mind was restful
but with every other thought
I find myself regretful
that in this web I'm caught

and though you tried to cut me free
the strands still tangled are
the threads twist all around me
aspirations mangled are

I cannot rise above me
I only sink below
I'm sure that once you loved me
I'm certain that I know
against this wall I'm banging
my head in repetition
I cannot stop the ringing
unceasing, this transmission

I know you tried to cut me free
the strands still strangled are
torn and twisted round about me
as hearts all mangled are

I'm longing for asylum
I'm searching for my place
in genus, class or phylum -
taxonomy's disgrace
I fit nowhere without you
I'm awkward and ungainly
my mind is all disordered
I miss you so insanely

so why was it I smashed you up
your limbs still tangled are
overflowing was our cup
we both now mangled are

I knew you would have left us
I know you would have lied
our hearts you would have cleft, thus
it's better that you died
and here in our hotel room
the voices say I'm right
I may have killed my new groom
but it wasn't out of spite

 

instapoem: on the way

instapoem: after rain

instapoem: flight

instapoem: the forest sings

instapoem:behind the door

instapoem: fairy tale

instapoem: the ghost of me

instapoem: crazyshoes

instapoem: autumn road

instapoem: flatiron

instapoem: my tree

instapoem: morning sun

instapoem: if

instapoem: shape & shadow

instapoem: exit only

instapoem: the city

instapoem: guardian

instapoem: ode to coffee

unfinished lyrics

i loved you on a rainy day
when the blue grey skies
that match your denim eyes
wept as bitterly
as i do
here without you

i loved you under heavens dark
lit by twinkling stars
that seemed only ours
but they flickered out
as i do
here without you

and i know the sun will shine again
but will never shine as it shone then
breaking through the clouds
to smile on us
huddled in the shelter of
a doorway

and I know the night will fall again
but will never fall as it fell then
wrapping round us
as a blanket
cuddled helter-skelter in
each other

I loved you
when the dawn was breaking
when the morning sun
found we two as one
but you left me
now I'm aching
here without you

and I know the sun will rise again
but will never rise as it rose then

yes, I know that I will love again
but will never love as I loved then
under cloudy, starry, dawning skies
without you

_____________________________________________
two months later - I've finally put it to music and named it skies without you

instapoem: wet shoes

instapoem: cloud road

inspired by my friend's documentation of her trip to Iceland

insta-poems

instagram inspired poetry

more in micropoetry

the hobby

and suddenly
it all comes clear
just what I was
to you

a hobby

now discarded
for a shiny new

enthusiasm boundless
until the day
you're bored

when the distraction
stops distracting
with too much
interacting

on to a newer toy
in which you'll find
a newer joy

until you've run out of new
and are left
with only you

micropoetry

attempts in micropoetry

Using instagram photos as inspiration for micropoetry!

supermoon eclipsing

the moon
hangs low
and heavy
in the sky
like my hope
reflecting the light
of another

inch by inch
the moon disappears
into itself
inch by inch
it reemerges
like a shy smile

and I watch
and in it am
light reflected
and shyly smile too

asea

I thought I was a life raft
That's how it seemed to me
To keep us safe above the waves
If capsized we should be

But now you say I'm ballast
Cast overboard I've been
With no real explanation
For why I'm jettisoned

An anchor or floatation
I don't know which I am
But either way, I'm drifting
And nowhere is the land.

I cannot find my bearings
in this Sargasso Sea
I float around in circles
Until I drown in memory.

(note- second video attempt. mispronounced Sargasso in the first - whoops.)

boxing

package/sort/name
and aim
to make sense
you get angry
at those that don't fit
in the boxes
you've made
so you break them
force the fit
as if it were
their fault
instead of building
bigger boxes
or becoming
boundless and boxless




 

Dating Animals

I don't trust a man who doesn't like dogs.
    I worry they don't value loyalty
          or exuberance
               and are ruled by fear

I don't trust a man who doesn't like cats
     I worry they don't value independence
           or mystery
                and are ruled by rules

I don't trust a man who doesn't like me
      I worry they don't value dogs or cats.

Greenthumb

love is not a gift

it is no bouquet
pruned and
plucked and
placed in a vase
stuck on a table
to be admired
for a day
maybe two
then left to wither

love is a garden
love is grown
sown together
tilled and tended

it is not yours
or mine
it is its own

and when you walk away
you cannot take it with you
except in memory
but always
you can return

it may have become
overrun with weeds
plagued by pests
neglected thus
but lest you despair,
know that with care
it can be curated

know also,
left wild
still it may
be beautiful
maybe more so

come,
rest,
and in this
verdant oasis

exhilerate

lilies

gilded lilies
in a delicate vase
placeholders
meant to decorate
adorn
embellish
their surroundings

spoken just to stop the quiet
beautiful words they were

of course,
the best lies always are
that's why we believe them

beach therapy

among the waves
i dissipate
dissolve into
the coke-bottle green
become part
of a solution
my concentration
diluted
a drop in the ocean
become my woes
and lightened thus
i float

Song fragment

I was walking along when our paths converged

I liked you so much that it was absurd

And when we kissed, the world, it blurred 

Til suddenly a truth emerged

You were never with me

You were always with her

Even though she was gone 

You were still with her

I feel so dumb that I couldn't see 

You were cheating on me with a memory 

Not Love Song

They're all just stupid love songs

Full of stupid lies

He'll never see your soul when he looks into your eyes

He sees just a reflection

Of the him he wants to be

And if your vision doesn't match that 

Done with you he'll be

Haiku

kitten curled up on
the hollow of my back where 
once your arm would lay

Done

The shoe has dropped 

And barefoot I 

Can walk on glass

Or stop

And wait 

And turn

And find the grass

To feel the green 

Beneath my toes 

And shoeless 

Let go

All my woes

ache

a delicate ache
suffuses my chest
as the blinking light
on the subway map
flashes closer and
closer to home

you'd kissed me goodnight
ruefully
turned away
and we walked
in opposite directions
to the trains
that would take us
further apart
I stopped
& looked back
you descended
the stairs
& I missed what was

Ad man

We exchange pleasantries with our fixed and glossy catalogue smiles
A JC Penny photo of old friends
Static and unchanging
Facile and fake
In time gone by we were an Ambercrombie & Fitch ad
Young and interesting
Beautiful and free
Half dressed, disheveled and joyously askew
But now you check your watch with a theatrical smile
Flash the pearl whites
Stand awkwardly in a pose of repose
And wear your sensible shoes




repost of a much spammed post from 2011 so that I can delete that one

netiquette

the things we say

when no one knows 

who we are

is who we are

not etiquette 

before the queen

but the netiquette 

behind the screen 

the mask reveals

the man beneath 

Disappearing boyfriend

I wish you weren't so far away 

It seems like only yesterday 

My arms wrapped round your sturdy chest 

And on your shoulder my head found rest

Your lips my forehead gently kissed

This communion I've greatly missed 

If the distance were measured simply

In lengths my cheeks might still be dimply

But there's no ruler to measure this 

The space between what was and is

The Race

you elude me

i run

as fast as i can

but you’re always ahead

i can’t get closer

the distance only grows

we started at the same place

i took off

left you behind

always staying close enough

to tease

to taunt

i should have just run

now i’m lagging

you’ve sailed past

i can still see you

but know

soon enough

you will disappear

a memory on the horizon

i can’t keep up

no matter

my struggle

and you

won’t even look back

and cheekily wave

goodbye

Kittens tumble over one another, as kittens do.
In the corner, one sits alone.
She licks her fur with contempt for the others' antics.
That is my kitten.

He gets off the local.
He gets off the local to switch to the express.
This change will only skip 3 stops.
This change only saves time if the express comes.
And if the express comes quickly.
As often as not, it does not.
He gets off the train
for the dream of a faster train.
For a fiction.
And in the same way,
he goes through girlfriends.
Leaving the one for an empty platform.
For a randomized hope.
So it was with me.
We would have gotten there if he'd stayed.
Instead, I am empty
and alone he stands
staring at his phone
and willing a faster train
to arrive.

caught in the net

once intertwined
we frayed and split

lost glimpses
murmured rumors
hints and intimations
shards of a life
I might have shared

with a single click
I crack
and crumble

the internet interjecting
the interminable realization
that my actions or reactions or inaction
have brought about
my expulsion

I see a life curated
crafted and cultivated

and can only guess at the accuracy
to mitigate my misery

before clicking onward
ever onward
to the next thing

...and seek

I beat you at Scrabble,
You beat me at Cribbage,
At poker and Quarto we tied.
But there is one game
That I always lose...
Holy shit, you know how to hide.
One moment you're there
then, Shazaam! you're gone.
The silence is...disconcerting.
A call from the ump
Pazzow! you're back
with kisses and fun and flirting.
So no more of the games
that toy with my heart
for I am too tired for seeking
I've yelled myself hoarse,
I've looked with no luck,
And my interest no longer is piquing.
For cards and boards games,
I'm always available,
but tonsil hockey is quits.
And hide the salami,
that's over and done,
The uniform no longer fits.
If you want to play, you have to show up -
at practice as well as the games
you're not a ringer
you don't have a ring
your inconstancy give me pains.

Blabbermouth

All I am is awkward,
Ungainly,
And unkempt.
My tumbled, jumbled words a muddle,
A high-pitched blur,
A wreck.

I hear myself
As if another
And inwardly mock;
Contemptful of this thing
This sad, forlorn contrivance
Longing for affection
For affinity
For eternity
Who yet makes certain
Unfulfillment

With sonic rambling
Buffeting all who approach
In windy wasteful wishy-washy twaddle.

love's fall

our august August love
could not last
past Labor Day
but laboriously
shambled away

whilst September cools
the warmth of summer's passion
so we brace
for autumn's brisk brusquness
and the eventual winter wasteland
we will weather alone

Falderal

All my glasses had rose-tinted lenses,
All stories would end with the kiss,
All my songs were in major chords,
All hope predicated on this.

But the sun shone bright in the Garden of Eden
And there's always a snake before the fall.
Temptation speaks with soft caress
And innocence ends for us all.

The glasses obscure and the kiss deceives.
Minor chords add melancholy grace.
Hopes dashed lead to wisdom won,
The wisdom gained by losing face.

And yet, some larger hope survives.
It whispers of future glories,
"Obstacles beaten and perseverance maintained
Are the basis of all great stories."

So a humbler me puts on the glasses;
Writes the words to a happier tale
Where love's triumphant and joy abounds
And good intentions never fail.

The wiser me knows it's all unlikely -
That minor chords ring more true,
But the sanguine me holds on to the hope 
I can never completely eschew

Of fairy-tale endings and patience rewarded,
Of justice both swift and fair,
Of love requited and safe haven found
In a castle in the air.

remnants

a photo
a ticket stub
a fridge magnet
a sock

the detritus of you
litters my otherwise empty spaces
accosts me at unexpected moments
and makes me nostalgic for a past where there was a future

accomplishment

a quiet moment of unsolicited bliss
in the flash crinkle of a crooked grin
curving towards a dimpled cheek
whisked away suddenly
stoicism and cynicism returned
but not before I saw
and noted
and was gratified
in the knowing that it was mine

Swing and a miss

A promising start
derailed
 by the lack of a smile
at the appropriate moment.
A lingering glance
unreturned in time.
And thus,
 one future ends.
Ignominiously.
And the lonely show continues.

operation

heart in hand i hand it over
watch you fumble and cast aside,
dropped to the floor, splattered gore,
my heart my hope my pride
every drop of pooling blood that seeps away,
creeps away, trickles down in rivulets
and in return you hand me nothing
made up of emptiness, regrets
and on the floor i see it beat,
my heart pulses throbs and quivers
in my chest a hollow ache,
my blood can't circulate
no warmth moves me through me and i shiver
you wipe your hands and disappeared
the disaffected disinfected surgeon
and me, anaesthetic free, an open wound
left to heal itself, your sacrificial virgin

a little sip
a little dip
a little chatter
a little flirting
a lot more drinking
and how he looks don't matter
a little shame
a little time
a little late
a little test
a little unexpected
a little unprepared
a lot of conversations
a little compromise
a little wedding
a lot of wedding dress
a little place
a little bootie
a little bottle
a little sleep
a lot of tantrums
a little fighting
a lot of questions
a little regret
a lot of begging
a little forgiveness
a little more time
a little sister
a lot less sleep
a little more work
a lot more time

a hollow wind blows through me
melts my resolve
brings tears to my eyes
catches in my throat
tries to choke me

echos and whispers in the breeze
i hear them and think it's you

it's not

odd hobbies

A girl I know on facebook
posted a picture
of an animal skeleton she saw on the ground

I wanted to click and "share." 
It made my heart ache.
Not the dessicated remains of some feral cat
or squirrel
or rat
or racoon
but knowing that you would see it too
and take the same photo
capturing the universal
trapped in a pile of bones

Each day is this.
Moments trying not to think
about how you'd like this or that.
What you might be doing now. 
Who you've done, if anyone.

Wondering if words could span
3,000 miles
and bridge the gap.
But I can't speak out of turn
and so the distance grows
between me

and

you.