Farewell

Once you asked the world of me
So my world I gave
Giving all to make you glad
Happily your slave
But all I had was not enough
You wanted more and more
So I watched you pack my things
And shuffle out the door
Off to brave new worlds are you
While here I'll sit and sigh
With sweet memory abating
And a wish that you will fry

truth

secrets like cancer
metastasizing
insidious and incurable
sins of omission
bald-faced lies
misdirection and misanthropy
all the things we never say
untrue with what we do
the chipping away of precious moments
in a maelstrom of mendacity
leaving in it's wake a flood of tears
destruction and desecration
memories rendered inadequate
in light of overwhelming evidence
that perception was skewed
from the start
broken hearted
spirit broken
for no reason
but a saving of face
a postponement of the inevitable
the inexorable
the inescapable
the truth

Regret

The bluest eyes
The strongest arms
With freckles dotted is his face
Red-golden hair on
Crown, jaw and chest
Limbs that move with rough-hewn grace
His lilting voice
That cheeky grin
Those tender whispers in the night
I wish to God
I’d known before
Love’s fire in me he’d set alight
Choices made
I wish unmade
Changes to the house of time
Go back
And make myself perfect
For this perfect boy of mine
But far too late
I cannot alter
Things now past that haunt me so
And so his sweetest
Tender touch
Will stay a joy I’ll never know

For St. Valentine

The wheels go spinning round and round
The train, it passes by
My love is gone
I cannot say that I know where or why

He loved me once, I'm sure of it
I thought he loved me true
Yet still he left and left no word
Except the word adieu

I search through sites and look for a new job.
I hate to work, and yet, I need the dough.
I sit here in my cube and join the mob
Who long for work that will not bring them low.

Hiding the screen so others cannot see
I scan the ads and learn what I most fear
Is that I'll never find a job for me,
Where I won't spend it kissing someone's rear.

But jobs are scarce and so it's here I'll stay
Dreaming of change and places yet unseen.
I'll keep on looking on another day
And hope that then the pickings won't be lean.

Until that day it's back to budgetry
And longing for the time when I'll be free.

To put your heart in words upon a screen,
To give your all to one defining dream,
To throw your lot to that which you most fear,
Just email one whom you hold very dear.

And with one click your hope is gone away
Into the ether, where you can't delay
The repercussions of what you have said.
Those words of love are now what you most dread.

If you could bring them back to you again
You'd change them all to something that you ken
Would save the heartache of finding you're wrong
And that your heart to him does not belong.

Still, waiting to find out what he will say
Will make you find your God, and pray, and pray.

I wake, and try to greet the coming day,
And yet my bed's so comfortable and warm.
So hit the snooze and under covers stay.
I have no wish to rise and greet the storm.

Eventually, I get out of the door
And to the subway walk, and catch the train
Upon which feet stick to the nasty floor
Before returning out into the rain.

Then, through the drizzle walk to coffee shop
And get overpriced dirty taste of grinds.
Then back through rain 'til on the bus I hop
So, on to work with all who've lost their minds.

This daily battle kills the best of me.
If I got paid to sleep. . .I'd happy be!

melt

inside your shy smile
i dissolve like
sugar on a tongue
snow in an oven
the West Witch
an interrogated snitch
the basis of a lie
whipped cream on hot pie
terrors in the light
monsters of the night
egos once derided
atoms which collided
chocolate in the sun
inhibitions after rum
i melt, i thaw, i resolve myself into a dew
inside your shy smile

Requiem

I think I hear the pipers.
I think they play for me
This lonely song a-wailing
From across the vast, cold sea.

I think it is my death dirge
That echoes every tear;
This lonely sad, cold wailing
That only I can hear.

The wind, it knocks me over.
The rain drips on my brow.
I think I hear them coming.
Yes, I'm sure I hear them now.

The Father stands waiting to free me from sin
For the pipers are playing and I'm home again.

inner/outer

trapped inside this decaying carcass
lives a girl I've long neglected
underneath the mounds of flesh
she breaths and moves
struggling against the outward
fighting to be
against the forces suppressing her
the despair
the laziness
entropy
she surfaces like a drowning body
gasping for air
grasping at straws
refusing to succumb to the darkness below
the comforting darkness of oblivion
anonymity
loveless but for love of self
a minimal feeling at best
loathing of all but mostly self
a sad state
fat cow
giving in to outward forces
smothering the girlish figure
with chocolate and self hate