MadVerse Prompt:cryptic signals/heretics and martyrs/bloodstained honor

misread signals
we cannot parse the cryptic code
of heretics babbling
discordant love songs
so between honor and betrayal
we are battered
bloodstained and baffled
all martyrs for a thing unseen
on an alter made of hope and tears

MadVerse Prompt: war/darkness descends/broken defenses

peace shattered
falls to the floor
pieces of me clattered
losing this new kind of war
as darkness descends
try to keep up pretenses
and all that portends
but my broken defenses
collapse & I, enraptured,
by enemy captured
succumb to madness
without and within
fighting a battle
I never could win

MadlyWylde Prompt: invasion/resistance

marking off the days
with scars and aches
and wrinkled faces
merely adding to our graces
time's invasion
o'erwhelms us all
our resistance futile
our protestations unheard
so some fight
and some appease
I thumb my nose
and do as I please

year's end

the year plays out its dying days
and I replay its means and ways
a melange of mixed messages
mixed emotions
missed connections
misplaced affections
unwanted devotions
I questions all the whys and hows
as the year gives out its final bows
and I am left with only this
sometimes, what is...just is

christmas rain

I walk the city streets alone
but for the voices in my ears
Waits and Simone and Dylan
measure out each step
lights twinkle around
darkened shop doorways
the rain comes down listlessly
and I add to its treasure
together we wash away the past
in a silent noel

MadVerse Prompt:winter-born kiss

the weather and my sorrow
understood what you did not
and so have dragged on
with summer's promise unfulfilled
and now we both await
a clean cold snow
to blanket the past
and cover memory
releasing us in
a winter-born kiss

a poem for Sara

fuck the unforgivers
the liars and the dicks
fuck the blaming whiners
the unrepentant pricks
fuck the ones who leave you
when you wanted them to stay
fuck the ones that stalk you
when you wish they'd go away
fuck slow walking tourists
the hicks and hipsters too
fuck pretty much everybody
except for me and you

back in the saddle

start over and over and over again
each time a bit diminished
after every ending
certain now it's finished
but begin again - more wary,
less hopeful and less trusting
enthusiasm oft too false
while temperaments adjusting
but if the next is musical
not a lyric will I believe
if love songs pour from every door
having once been so deceived
and if with honeyed word he swears
that his recalcitrance
has nought to do with me,
this time, I'll see more sense
I'll wear my hope but lightly
and hide away my fears
devoid of all my joy
but also shedding no more tears
what are the other options
when you've been left behind
you either get on with your life
or you get on with your dying

after

like an ineffectual toddler
kicking and screaming
she will never get the thing she wants
nor can she retaliate
for that which he withholds,
her punches miss or fall softly
he does not care
and she hurts him not at all

MadVerse Prompt: spirit of the night

the day darkens
but sleep does not come
instead, these unwelcome visitors
these spirits of the night
whisper at the edge of hearing
the worsts and the bests of me
they speak only in hyperbole and lies
and I am too tired
to refute them

WyldeVerse Prompt: paled memory

someday soon
you will be gone from
these paled memories
faded into oblivion
by my relentless sun
as I have already
gone from yours
faded away by hers

instapoem: daybreak's wanderer

MadVerse Prompt: paper angels / tinsel rain / winter's heart

in winter's cold heart
we are displayed
for what we are
paper angels
tissue thin and fragile
and as the world rejoices
i hang desperately
on a dying tree
weeping tinsel rain
and waiting
for the year to turn

left behind

we kissed under a streetlight
on a not quite summer day
in a moment so astounding
not so long ago or far way
from "one for the books" to footnote
any wonder that I've cried
muselicious, beautiful, delicious Red
to "I really, really tried"
and I'm sad and I'm exhausted
and I still don't understand
how enthusiasm waned so fast
how we lost the fun we planned
and I'm happy that you're happy
but wounded is my pride
that you've moved so far beyond me
and I'm certain if I died
you would never even notice
you've made a life anew
and it's like I never mattered
my existence for you through
though it's now been months since ending
I can't take it all in stride
each day think I'm better
but then I just backslide
and I hope she brings you joy
and I hope she brings you peace
and I hope to find the same
or at least, my pain to cease

insomnia haiku

the curious cat stares out the window and thinks she could catch the moon

MadVerse Prompt: banished / (fear / despair / sorrow)

like an epic tale of old
I wear my sorrow as a cloak,
my despair the pack I carry.
my fear the spear with which I fight
the worser demons that track me;
Jealousy, Resentment and Rage.
they are not yet banished,
but weakening
and I fight on.

farsighted

watch from afar
and await the inevitable
knowing there is nothing
you swore to me
you'd never do
that you would not do
for her

MadVerse Prompt: fight/live/love (hard/fearlessly)

I will continue,
I will fight hard ,
I will love fearlessly
for a survivor
lives inside me.
But for the moment
she is tired
and a break
between bouts
is required.
The match not over
but paused.

MadVerse Prompt: twisted chemistry/self-destruction

postmodern Jeckyll
postmortem Hyde
I metamorphasize
self-despise, self-destruct
my chemistry twisted
now I am half of me

instapoem: the city dreams

MadVerse Prompt: last best & only /(chance/hope/deal)

Foolishly, I went all in
and these, these will be
the only cards you deal to me,
a last chance to redeem myself,
my best hope: a sullen Jack
or smiling Queen
and me, the tear-stained Joker
who should never
have sat down.

WyldeVerse Prompt: raw freedom

freedom forced upon her
as upon a newborn
ejected from the womb
and she screamed
in the open air
the winds raw upon her
exposed skin

MadVerse Prompt: delusion / hallucination / figment

my hallucination
as dusty lips
parched for meaning
kiss the empty air
a figment of aspiration
the delusion of passion
evaporates your ghost
with the summer sun
and desiccates me

lament

always an almost
never quite right
ever a maybe
i give up the fight
embrace the alone
whilst rejecting the lonely
accepting the now
forgetting "if only"
take up new hobbies
let go the past
comfort myself, some things
aren't meant to last



Now with music! On YouTube.

MadVerse Prompt: insubstantial / ephemeral / ethereal

their time ephemeral ended
his insubstantial heart had wavered
so her spirit now untethered
floats ethereal to dissipate
like smoke through thoughts

days end

MadVerse Prompt: verdigris / patina / glaze / surface

the saltwater waterfalls fall
on surface shimmering
glaze from copper eyes
someday will dry
and leave behind
the verdigris patina
oxidized, grown wise 
painting perception
evermore in hues
of greens and blues

the bigots' battle cry

it makes me sick to think on
all the things that have gone wrong
the world is full of assholes
singing the same song
"it wasn't me, it's not our fault"
and then they lay the blame
on the doorstep of the innocents
and loudly they declaim
"live in fear and hate that guy
for things he didn't do,
but someone did who looked like him
and next he'll come for you"
they blame color, race, religion
forget our shared humanity
unless the terror looks like them
then blame insanity
they focus on the symptoms
and ignore the deeper cause
a lack of empathy
will never give them pause
and yet the only recourse
against the intolerant
is more kindness and compassion
just as oberdurate
steadfast in your goodness be
believe in better days
created by the thoughtful
in a million tiny ways
be the change you want to see
put hatred on the shelf
choose to act from love not fear
be your better self

love's stagehand

clear the debris
reset the stage
and if I'm lucky
before I go
receive a kind nod
as I disappear
into the dark
dressed in black
invisible
to watch
from the wings
quiet
as the play
goes on
without me

MadVerse: raw / refined / resonant / resilient

I clothe myself,
refined
in velvet memory
and find
it still fits.
a chocolate dress -
a raw teen's dream
of bohemian couture
and in it, resonant,
my younger self:
resilient and rebellious.
she is good
to wear again.

MadVerse Prompt: complicated / compulsive / complex

Impulsively I climbed
into this puzzlebox/
compulsively tried to suss
our complicated, convoluted
complexities/
broke something
and now am stuck,
like a bad mime,
in a prison
no one else can see

square one

pack up the past
and put it away
to the back of storage
for a far off day
it wasn't quite useless
but it won't help you now
so let go the ache
unfurrow your brow
remove all the pictures
from off of your phone
delete all the texts
leave memory alone
keep busy, keep moving
until you forget
let go of the hope
that he'll someday regret
back to square one
clean off the slate
a new day begins
it's never too late

Reversed

And if you were me
How would you be
Would you believe you
Or would you review
Everything to see
That you weren't crazy
See if any was true
Before it was through
If you knew what you knew

Yes, that's what I'd do too

MadVerse Prompt:splintered night / smoldering remains

supernova

splintering the night

with a kiss

and I burn

and melt

in your fire

until all that's left

of me;

smoldering remains

instapoem: the rush

repeats

the irony writ large
on miniature pages.
you became her
and made of me, you.
the tale a circle;
ever the same,
ever anew.

again

there is nothing clever
or funny to say -
another shooter, more deaths...
just another day

MadVerse Prompt:north winds

a chill wind
blows through her
freezes her grieving heart
leaving her locked
in the ice of a sea
of frozen tears
until the spring thaw

MadVerse Prompt: origami flesh

fold into myself
confounding contortions
w/ origami flesh
to hide me
in creases
& show the world
a new form

instapoem: both

micropoetry: sunset

sky on fire
in vermilion hue
burns away the day's blue
and silhouetted against is you
beauty's magnifier

instapoem: the willow

better

when i said
it would be better
had we
never met
you replied, no
not ever
not a day
do you regret

i do not think
you understood
it is for me
it would be good

Liar

You pride yourself on honesty 

You swear you never lied

Every kiss you kissed was false

Except that kiss goodbye 

News

I still can't understand 

Can't find the disconnect 

Between us having something wondrous 

To something to be left

I have the early data

You sent me video

To show me that I made your smile 

As big as it could go

Then you became cagey

For your once beloved KG

And now my smile's disappeared 

You took it with you maybe

You want us to be friends 

And tell me that you're sorry

That you never were in love

But that I shouldn't worry 

Because I am so lovely 

You're certain that I'll find 

A newer love without you

And think you're being kind

But I am not so blind

You already have moved on

And left me far behind 

true friend

scrabbling for purchase
screaming through the darkness
velocity gaining
insanity reigning
a voice answers my calls
and cushions my fall
and I land
bruised
but unbroken

instapoem: mad sq

privations

display of affliction
may lose me affection
but neither does deflection
reverse defection
better public introspection
than silent desperation
lacking the elation
of previous devotion 
I settle in determination 
for poetic creation

instapoem: life vest

instapoem: windowbox thoughts

despair and hope

look at the world
try not to despair
in brighter days
we place our hope
we search for love
any which where
in stranger's smiles
try to cope
in our rage and revulsion
at acts of destruction
remember that hate
like weevils breed
and evils bleed
across borders
and colors and faiths
not resigned
but resolved
a better way
than blinded eyes
until no one left
can see
the brighter days
we hope may be

empty nest

i misconstrue
light for warmth
dazzled by the brightness
sometime blinded
by the glare
like a jackdaw
collecting shinies
building a nest
of trash and trinkets

instapoem: angel wings

instapoem: gift for an insomniac

instapoem: adrift

instapoem: the baptism

another fall

leaves crackle underfoot
like pretty lies
dry and brittle
beautiful and broken
but they make a lovely sound
as they are stomped into oblivion

instapoem: the puzzle

instapoem: the path

instapoem: the stoic's love poem

the birthday approach

the year begins to turn
with an ominous tick, tick, tick
my biological clock
flips a number
like a vintage alarm
about to go off
i feel like i feel
no older
except...
the weight of years
rests about me
a mantle of memory
which slows my step
but keeps me warm
and I don't know
which is more worthwhile

instapoem: the fall

Asylum

the tears come oft unbidden
since we said goodbye
I wish my heart was hidden
I wish I didn't cry
I wish I my mind was restful
but with every other thought
I find myself regretful
that in this web I'm caught

and though you tried to cut me free
the strands still tangled are
the threads twist all around me
aspirations mangled are

I cannot rise above me
I only sink below
I'm sure that once you loved me
I'm certain that I know
against this wall I'm banging
my head in repetition
I cannot stop the ringing
unceasing, this transmission

I know you tried to cut me free
the strands still strangled are
torn and twisted round about me
as hearts all mangled are

I'm longing for asylum
I'm searching for my place
in genus, class or phylum -
taxonomy's disgrace
I fit nowhere without you
I'm awkward and ungainly
my mind is all disordered
I miss you so insanely

so why was it I smashed you up
your limbs still tangled are
overflowing was our cup
we both now mangled are

I knew you would have left us
I know you would have lied
our hearts you would have cleft, thus
it's better that you died
and here in our hotel room
the voices say I'm right
I may have killed my new groom
but it wasn't out of spite

 

instapoem: on the way

instapoem: after rain

instapoem: flight

instapoem: the forest sings

instapoem:behind the door

instapoem: fairy tale

instapoem: the ghost of me

instapoem: crazyshoes

instapoem: autumn road

instapoem: flatiron

instapoem: my tree

instapoem: morning sun

instapoem: if

instapoem: shape & shadow

instapoem: exit only

instapoem: the city

instapoem: guardian

instapoem: ode to coffee

unfinished lyrics

i loved you on a rainy day
when the blue grey skies
that match your denim eyes
wept as bitterly
as i do
here without you

i loved you under heavens dark
lit by twinkling stars
that seemed only ours
but they flickered out
as i do
here without you

and i know the sun will shine again
but will never shine as it shone then
breaking through the clouds
to smile on us
huddled in the shelter of
a doorway

and I know the night will fall again
but will never fall as it fell then
wrapping round us
as a blanket
cuddled helter-skelter in
each other

I loved you
when the dawn was breaking
when the morning sun
found we two as one
but you left me
now I'm aching
here without you

and I know the sun will rise again
but will never rise as it rose then

yes, I know that I will love again
but will never love as I loved then
under cloudy, starry, dawning skies
without you

_____________________________________________
two months later - I've finally put it to music and named it skies without you

instapoem: wet shoes

instapoem: cloud road

inspired by my friend's documentation of her trip to Iceland

insta-poems

instagram inspired poetry

more in micropoetry

the hobby

and suddenly
it all comes clear
just what I was
to you

a hobby

now discarded
for a shiny new

enthusiasm boundless
until the day
you're bored

when the distraction
stops distracting
with too much
interacting

on to a newer toy
in which you'll find
a newer joy

until you've run out of new
and are left
with only you

micropoetry

attempts in micropoetry

Using instagram photos as inspiration for micropoetry!

supermoon eclipsing

the moon
hangs low
and heavy
in the sky
like my hope
reflecting the light
of another

inch by inch
the moon disappears
into itself
inch by inch
it reemerges
like a shy smile

and I watch
and in it am
light reflected
and shyly smile too

asea

I thought I was a life raft
That's how it seemed to me
To keep us safe above the waves
If capsized we should be

But now you say I'm ballast
Cast overboard I've been
With no real explanation
For why I'm jettisoned

An anchor or floatation
I don't know which I am
But either way, I'm drifting
And nowhere is the land.

I cannot find my bearings
in this Sargasso Sea
I float around in circles
Until I drown in memory.

(note- second video attempt. mispronounced Sargasso in the first - whoops.)

boxing

package/sort/name
and aim
to make sense
you get angry
at those that don't fit
in the boxes
you've made
so you break them
force the fit
as if it were
their fault
instead of building
bigger boxes
or becoming
boundless and boxless




 

Dating Animals

I don't trust a man who doesn't like dogs.
    I worry they don't value loyalty
          or exuberance
               and are ruled by fear

I don't trust a man who doesn't like cats
     I worry they don't value independence
           or mystery
                and are ruled by rules

I don't trust a man who doesn't like me
      I worry they don't value dogs or cats.

Greenthumb

love is not a gift

it is no bouquet
pruned and
plucked and
placed in a vase
stuck on a table
to be admired
for a day
maybe two
then left to wither

love is a garden
love is grown
sown together
tilled and tended

it is not yours
or mine
it is its own

and when you walk away
you cannot take it with you
except in memory
but always
you can return

it may have become
overrun with weeds
plagued by pests
neglected thus
but lest you despair,
know that with care
it can be curated

know also,
left wild
still it may
be beautiful
maybe more so

come,
rest,
and in this
verdant oasis

exhilerate

lilies

gilded lilies
in a delicate vase
placeholders
meant to decorate
adorn
embellish
their surroundings

spoken just to stop the quiet
beautiful words they were

of course,
the best lies always are
that's why we believe them

beach therapy

among the waves
i dissipate
dissolve into
the coke-bottle green
become part
of a solution
my concentration
diluted
a drop in the ocean
become my woes
and lightened thus
i float

Song fragment

I was walking along when our paths converged

I liked you so much that it was absurd

And when we kissed, the world, it blurred 

Til suddenly a truth emerged

You were never with me

You were always with her

Even though she was gone 

You were still with her

I feel so dumb that I couldn't see 

You were cheating on me with a memory 

Not Love Song

They're all just stupid love songs

Full of stupid lies

He'll never see your soul when he looks into your eyes

He sees just a reflection

Of the him he wants to be

And if your vision doesn't match that 

Done with you he'll be

Haiku

kitten curled up on
the hollow of my back where 
once your arm would lay

Done

The shoe has dropped 

And barefoot I 

Can walk on glass

Or stop

And wait 

And turn

And find the grass

To feel the green 

Beneath my toes 

And shoeless 

Let go

All my woes

ache

a delicate ache
suffuses my chest
as the blinking light
on the subway map
flashes closer and
closer to home

you'd kissed me goodnight
ruefully
turned away
and we walked
in opposite directions
to the trains
that would take us
further apart
I stopped
& looked back
you descended
the stairs
& I missed what was

Ad man

We exchange pleasantries with our fixed and glossy catalogue smiles
A JC Penny photo of old friends
Static and unchanging
Facile and fake
In time gone by we were an Ambercrombie & Fitch ad
Young and interesting
Beautiful and free
Half dressed, disheveled and joyously askew
But now you check your watch with a theatrical smile
Flash the pearl whites
Stand awkwardly in a pose of repose
And wear your sensible shoes




repost of a much spammed post from 2011 so that I can delete that one

netiquette

the things we say

when no one knows 

who we are

is who we are

not etiquette 

before the queen

but the netiquette 

behind the screen 

the mask reveals

the man beneath 

Disappearing boyfriend

I wish you weren't so far away 

It seems like only yesterday 

My arms wrapped round your sturdy chest 

And on your shoulder my head found rest

Your lips my forehead gently kissed

This communion I've greatly missed 

If the distance were measured simply

In lengths my cheeks might still be dimply

But there's no ruler to measure this 

The space between what was and is

The Race

you elude me

i run

as fast as i can

but you’re always ahead

i can’t get closer

the distance only grows

we started at the same place

i took off

left you behind

always staying close enough

to tease

to taunt

i should have just run

now i’m lagging

you’ve sailed past

i can still see you

but know

soon enough

you will disappear

a memory on the horizon

i can’t keep up

no matter

my struggle

and you

won’t even look back

and cheekily wave

goodbye

Kittens tumble over one another, as kittens do.
In the corner, one sits alone.
She licks her fur with contempt for the others' antics.
That is my kitten.

He gets off the local.
He gets off the local to switch to the express.
This change will only skip 3 stops.
This change only saves time if the express comes.
And if the express comes quickly.
As often as not, it does not.
He gets off the train
for the dream of a faster train.
For a fiction.
And in the same way,
he goes through girlfriends.
Leaving the one for an empty platform.
For a randomized hope.
So it was with me.
We would have gotten there if he'd stayed.
Instead, I am empty
and alone he stands
staring at his phone
and willing a faster train
to arrive.